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Monday, March 18, 2002, 01:37 p.m. SHANNON, YOU ARE SO DEAD.I TRUSTED YOU! and you made me download THAT SONG!! If I end up buying that CD, I'm blaming you. I really am. *whimper* Ah, but it's so bouncy! So...bouncy...can not stop...but I need the uke in the crop-top and capri pants to sing it! The REALLY sad thing about this is that TMR sings on the soundtrack. >_< I'll just get in this handbasket right now and save myself some time. Now I have to undo the damage by listening to some Iggy Pop or something. HAVE I NO TASTE?!? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME? Now Playing: Gravitation - Sleepless Beauty Monday, March 18, 2002, 10:56 a.m. It shifts and shiftsWhew. I'm ridiculously tired. I have to go to sleep tonight at around 6 pm because I'm leaving for Chicago at 2 am. At least I'm not driving. X_x My dreams were so dreadfully confused last night, a weird mishmash of Gravitation and Persona, can you imagine? Of course, after watching Gravitation, I mostly dreamed of Eikichi. >D My brain actually makes sense sometimes. I saw the end of Gravitation last night with Shannon - well, we watched episodes 6-13. Gosh, that was a cute show. I usually tend to avoid these romantic yaoi-centric shows because they're usually boring and melodramatic, and you have people doing stupid dramatic things for no good reason. I don't tolerate that stupid romantic hijinks crap if it's a guy and a girl, why should I tolerate it just because it's yaoitic? I guess I have the same problem with most romantic shows that Ka has with AAAANGSTY shows, namely the whole "just because it's angsty and everyone dies at the end doesn't make it deep." Puu: Why'd they do that?! Person A: It's romantic, though! Puu: That doesn't mean it's not STUPID! I guess I'm scarred for life after Zetsu Ai/Bronze. >D For me to enjoy romantic comedies, I have to a) like the characters, and b) give a rat's ass about what happens in their relationship. The fastest way to make me lose respect for characters is for them to do stupid, irrational, melodramatic things, especially when it's for the sake of luuuuuurve, or if their relationship solely consists of angsting about...stuff. You know? :D And most romantic shows consist of angsting about....stuff. And really, Gravitation has its own share of retarded angsting and crises. But it's so hyperactive and insane and cute that I'm usually laughing too hard to care that this is the usual "he says he doesn't love me, WHYYY?" crisis. Sure, it's about a j-rock band, which usually means I run and hide. But the characters. Are so odd. I mean, you have a manager who dresses like he escaped from Tokyo Babylon and smilingly pushes people into oncoming traffic when they threaten his taisetsuna hito. @_@ Then you have K, the band's agent, who is an engrish-master and is NEVER seen without his guns. In every scene he's either loading or lovingly polishing his gun or smilingly threatening the band at gunpoint to get them to do what he wants. He hides on rooftops and literally snipes at the lead singer's boyfriend to make him behave so the band doesn't suffer. >D When I saw him on the roof in the last scene with his shades and his sniper rifle, I honestly thought, "Oh god, he's going to shoot the plane down. >D " Then there's Sakano-san, the Koyasu-character who should really cut down on his coffee. It doesn't pay to be too high-strung and nervous around these lunatics. >D Half of the cast is SD and bouncing off the walls at one point or another. Ryuuichi and Shuuichi need to get their own private SD genki island, where they can run around with their costumes and wear coconut-shell bras and grass skirts and draw in coloring books or whatever they like. >D I thought those two were SO cute. >D So, uh, in short, Gravitation was mindless fluff. But it was FUNNY mindless fluff, with enough hyperactive energy to make the episodes go by quickly and to make me want to watch the next episode. Wouldn't you agree, Shannon? I typed up two letters to withdraw my acceptance at the two other med schools I was holding a place at. It's weird, I'm going to medical school. @_@ My main memory of that med school is that I stayed overnight there, and when I woke up that morning and dressed for my interview, the TV said that George Harrison was dead. I barely remember the interview itself, but I remember waiting outside in the dusk for my parents to drive to Milwaukee from Osh Kosh and pick me up. I'd checked out a Lovecraft anthology before I left, so I sat and read about Cthulhu and Shub-Niggurath and the olden gods from Pluto and all that. I like to attribute my acceptance to Cthulhu-chan. >D My dad put car payments on my financial aid request from MCW. O_O I guess I might get a new car when I go there, considering that the Puumobile just won't make it TO Milwaukee, much less last for a year or three in that weather. Gosh. If that comes through, I'm all doki-doki waku-waku. But, of course, I'll have to start paying off my loan in four years or so, right, when I'm making $30,000 a year. >_< But I'm looking forward to going back to school and learning things again. Expect me to start bitching about school about four days into the semester, though. ^_~ I have NO illusions about that. Heh, I have work to do before I leave... I have a daybook on my desk here at work. On the page for the 19th, I wrote, FIRST YOU PILLAGE, THEN YOU BURN. Before I leave, I'll turn the page to the 19th and leave that there for my coworkers to chew upon while I'm gone. >D Now Playing: Beatles - You're Gonna Lose That Girl Friday, March 15, 2002, 09:15 a.m. Everything is a copy of a copy of a copy.Ugh, not a good day already. As I was hurrying down the stairs to my car, my spindle of CDs fell out of my backpack and 30 of my favorite CDs bounced merrily down the concrete stairs and lay strewn all over the muddy, wet sidewalk at the bottom of the stairs. First I swore mightily, then I picked them up as fast as possible because I was already late to work. Amazingly enough, I just polished them on my shirt, and all of them, although a little scuffed, are perfectly fine and playable o.o;;; The Power of Plastic, huh? Anyways, a couple of random things I was going to comment about. First, Ka and Suze's discussion of emoticons. Sure, they're fluffy, teenage things to use. However, I suppose I don't object to seeing them in blogs - hell, I use one about every ten words myself! - for a few reasons. It really depends on what's being said at the time. In a blog, when you're being casual and describing your day, for example - like me whining about dropping all my CDs down the stairs while running to work - the tone of your writing is informal and conversational, right? If I were in front of you, you could see my waving my hands, or rolling my eyes as I say this, or groaning, or smiling, or being deadpan, or whatever. Or if I were on the phone, you could hear how I modulate my voice. But in text, such as in IRC or IM or in a blog, these subtle nuances get wiped away. That why I - and I suspect Ka, and a lot of people - use emoticons like nobody's business when talking about frivolous stuff. It's trying to reproduce the visual or auditory cues that we take for granted when talking to other people. Take, for example, the following line: Yeah, that was great. I really wanted to see that. :D Yeah, that was great. I really wanted to see that. @_@ -_-;;; Same words, totally different meaning. For me, if I'm trying to "talk" to someone, write in a conversational style, I can't get rid of the emoticons without a conscious effort. When I switch to a more formal style - such as this little discussion - the emoticons drop out almost automatically, and I don't even have to think about it. I'm not trying to convey my emotional responses to something, or how I'm delivering a line, but I'm simply conveying my ideas, the way I would in a formal speech or paper. Of course, emoticons can get really fscking annoying if overused, and can take some adjustment if you're not used to reading them. I barely notice them anymore, apart from, "Oh, she's smiling when she said that, she's disgusted by that, etc etc." But then again, I've been online since I was, uh, 13 or 14 years old, so it's been 7, 8 years? It's like new anime watchers who find subtitles distracting and therefore prefer the dub. It just takes adjustment. Personally, I find that when someone is talking about their day, or something, or makes a joke, and doesn't use a single emoticon, it comes across as a story or a joke told with a perfectly straight face. Deadpan. That WORKS, I suppose, depending on the story, but usually it just comes across as flat or overly earnest. To me. Usually. Maybe I think too much about these things. @_@ My main point simply is that on a basic level, communication is a visual and oral thing; we apes need to see each other's threat-grimaces and bone-waving. But when we're just stuck with a transcription, emoticons reintroduce a bit of the visual component of communication. Blah, blah, blah. What else was I going to talk about? Um - Hahahahaha, I didn't know "Bigmouth Strikes Again" was on this album! Shows how well I remember what songs are on which album. >D "The Queen Is Dead" is a fun album, IMHO. Well, not FUN per se - it's rather bitter, really, but in an entertaining way! :D o/~ Frankly, Mr. Shankley, this position I've held, it pays my way and it CORRODES MY SOUL...I'd rather be famous than RIGHTEOUS or HOLY anyday! o/~ Hee hee. Now Playing: Clash - Car Jamming Friday, March 15, 2002, 07:20 a.m. "No, I'm NOT going to be your prison bitch."Darnit, Kya, you're no fun. I swear...my mom called me AGAIN this morning at 7 am sharp. This time I just let my machine get it. >_> This is the THIRD DAY IN A ROW, and she's only been home a WEEK. Damn you, Kya! You evil bitch! I woke up this morning and checked my IRC logs and found you taunting me about the Boogiepop art on this site. Damn you! Damn you for its cuteness! This is the fscking AZURE of Boogiepop art, both in style and subject! Raaaarrr! I'll blog more about this at work, I guess. Read my archived entry on the Boogiepop wa warawanai manga. This fanart. It's bloody Takeda-kun and his bestestestest friend, the Boogiepop, being ridiculously adorable together (although the Boogiepop doesn't smile......naturally). Heh heh, I just noticed something. The pairing in this case is called TakeAwa - because he's Takeda, and she's the Boogiepop, the Bukimi na Awa. *snerk* Here , for example, is the Boogiepop comforting Takeda who's really upset that she's disappearing now. And here is Takeda-kun pinching Boogiepop's cheeks and pulling her mouth into a smile. AUUUGH!!! Too cute. Auuuuuugh! Now Playing: Depeche Mode - Blue Dress Wednesday, March 13, 2002, 10:10 a.m. o/~ I've seen this happen in other people's lives, and now it's happening in mine... o/~Another batch of March birthdays! Matt, it's your birthday today, right? It's also Steph's, so happy birthday to the both of you. :D Next is...etou...my sister's birthday on the 28th, and Juri's on the...30th? Note to self: buy a train ticket to Ann Arbor from Chicago for the 28th. X_x My nails are longer than they've been in a while - which just means that they extend past my fingertips, but that's something. I've always kept them short - when I was playing the violin, I needed them short, and also when I lived at home and ate meals with my hand daily, I prefered short nails rather than long ones that scraaaaped over aluminum plates and got food under them. You can just clean 'em if you only eat with your hands once in a while, but I prefered to just keep 'em short and simplify things for myself that way. I guess I'll paint them so that I don't snap them off or bite them. I'm just as bad a nailbiter when I'm nervous as I was when I was 12. God, the stupid pointless stuff I blog about. Oh well, you've read this far, might as well keep going. ;;^^ Hm, they found Andrea Yates guilty. Now, I don't know what I expected them to rule - I mean, she killed her kids, right, but she was also as crazy as they come when she did it, so...it's a tough decision. What DO you do when people commit crimes when insane? You can't let them go unpunished, but at the same time...I don't know, I am perfectly capable of believing that someone could be so out of their mind that they kill people and think that they were doing them a favor. Crazy people do some of the damnedest things. My paternal grandmother was severely manic-depressive with episodes of full-blown psychosis, which I understand is somewhat rare in depressives. I never saw her when she was really loopy; she was so heavily medicated by the time I was born that she was just exhausted and foul-tempered all the time. But when my dad was a kid she was apparently really out there. She got institutionalized...twice? and eventually got medicated into a kind of stupor to be able to function. I talked to my dad about what he could remember about those times. (This was when I was doing my paper for Abnormal Psych - heh, I had no problem finding people with mental problems to write my papers about >_<) He said that when she was having one of her psychotic stages she was delusional and paranoid. She didn't see little green men, but she had enough completely WRONG beliefs that she was definitely delusional. And, of course, when she was manic, she managed to write two or three (unpublished) novels and painted like a fiend. If you've been to my parents' house, the paintings of oceans and forests are by my grandmother. :D She was left-handed, liked to paint, and was utterly cuckoo, all of which I inherited from her, I guess. >_@ Anyways, the point of all that was to say that people really CAN be completely out of their minds and out of touch with reality. I know it seems hard to believe, but... I found it highly amusing, though, that the argument was essentially, "Come ON, she thought SATAN existed and was telling her to KILL HER KIDS, she MUST be out of her mind." So if you go to church and pray to God and promise to avoid the clutches of Satan, that's okay, but if you REALLY REALLY BELIEVE in all that, you're obviously nuts? Hahahaha, that's funny. >D Religious belief has now become acknowledged as a delusion. ;;^^ I wonder if they realized that when they made that argument. On the other hand, good GOD, they're still arguing about evolution in Ohio?! I just reread how I phrased that and had to laugh. Well, darnit, there just aren't any good interjections that don't have to do with God or hell or damnation. >D Anyways, another thing that made me laugh: this article on cutting. "She's used everything from broken glass and staples to her own fingernails to draw blood on her arm, belly and hip -- inexplicably, all on her left side." HEY! GENIUSES! What do you want to bet she's RIGHT-HANDED? Then again, I suppose that sort of thing is only blindingly obvious if you've done it yourself. ;;^^ My scars are all on the right side because I'm left-handed. ;;^^ You use your writing hand to hold whatever it is you're using, deshou? Don't look at me like that, I was a clinically depressed uber-perfectionist under a lot of internal and external pressure. I would have made a great self-flagellating medieval monk, like the ones you see in the Holy Grail. >D It was probably self-indulgent of me to be so miserable, but - I don't know, I'm confused. When is it self-indulgent to talk about this sort of stuff, and when is it not? I admit, this is the kind of boring "blah blah I'm so tragic and angsty" stuff that thirteen-year-olds write. I've seen many responses to that kind of "rant about my psychological problems" that went, essentially, "grow up, stop whining, you just want attention and pity, and you're not getting any here." Which, truthfully, is the appropriate response in 99% of the cases. ^_~ I KNOW I'm not a Deprived Person; I'm very very lucky, actually. But really, sometimes there's a reason to talk about people's Issues that don't necessarily involve pleas for sympathy and some kind of self-affirming round of applause. Bleh. I hate self-affirmation. I still think I'm a worthless human being, but now that I've accepted that as a fact, I just nod, and think, "Hm, but this worthless human being has work to do! And people to see! Maybe I'll take a nap in the sun later." And I...move on. I guess with age comes the ability not to not WALLOW in your neuroses, but to put them on a mental shelf where you can dust them off occasionally and where you won't trip over them. That's it! Your Ish are like this god-awful ugly piece of pottery or a statue that some relative gave you. It's too big to get out the door, and if you leave it in the center of the room, you'll stub your toe on it stumbling about in the dark every morning, and it's right THERE for any visitors, so that you can display it to them and complain how it's so ugly but you can't get rid of it. But eventually you'll move it to a corner, put a houseplant on its head, and find something useful to do with it - or, if not, it's not in your damn living room, and you don't have to think about how ugly it is. You might mention it to visitors if the subject of hideous gifts comes up, and show it to them if they INSIST, but it doesn't have to be the focal point of every conversation. So, yes, you have an ugly statue in the corner of the room. But you don't have to mention it, and no, it's not there for people to comment about; it's just that thing you use to hold your spider plant's pot. Whoa, that was a weird analogy. >_@ I need to cut down on my caffeine intake. In fact, this entire blog was the fault of listening to the Smiths and reading CNN.com too early in the motning. Ho ho ho. >D My mother woke me up at 6:50 am asking why I didn't call yesterday. X_x See what I mean about screening my calls? She came back Thursday night, I called Thursday night, saw her on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, and didn't call or see them Tuesday. So she calls me at dawn on Wednesday. X_x Well, at least she invited me to join her for lunch, so it wasn't just a scolding about not calling. @_@ I brought Fight Club to work and am reading it on my break. I just realized I've been smiling for the past hour. I'd forgotten about some of the differences between the book and the movie. Poor Narrator. ;;^^ But now I'm going to finish my chapter on empowering nurses in the UAE and move on to indexing another chapter of the solid-state physics book. Now Playing: The Smiths - That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore Monday, March 11, 2002, 09:46 a.m. Now this is funFor a giggle, you guys, type in "now+this+is+fun+lyrics" into google. Very early, and I just like it for some unknown reason. It was back in the days that their hair was Special, namely 20 years ago. X_x I had a Special weekend too! Thanks again to you guys who called me or emailed or whatever. *_* Shannon-nyo, I'll call you tonight; if you're free this week, wanna hang out? I meant to call you on Sunday, but then I wasn't sure if you felt like a Bakuretsu Hunters marathon, and then it got late. X_x Sorry! I spent most of Saturday with my parents. My mother gave me two brass statues she'd picked up in India; one was of Ganesha with 14 arms, and the other was of Hanuman. Both are extremely painful to stub your toe upon, as poor Krisit found out. She also gave me something pretty cool; two old-fashioned throwing dice, which were the type of dice they used to gamble over 2000 years ago. In the Mahabharata, for example, these are the type of dice Yudhisthira and Sakuni used, the type of dice used by Nala. :D Western dice are six-sided cubes, but these dice are long thin four-sided cylinders. They have six sides, of course, but two of them are the tiny ends so they don't hold numbers. The numbers on the sides are 0, 1, 2, and 3 (indicated by dots engraved in the metal). You roll them between your two hands like you roll two pencils, and throw them down. Apparently the old gambling game was something like Chutes & Ladders, except it involved long snakes for the chutes. We have a game board rolled up somewhere at home. Anyways. I got three or four books by a naturalist/author that I really enjoy, Gerald Durrell. Pick up his books sometime; they're both fascinatingly full of details about animals and hysterically funny. Oh, my parents also picked up the tab for my plane ticket to Japan, and are giving me more money. Jesus. My parents may drive me apeshit, but they do EVERYTHING for me. During the weeks when it was really cold, my dad stopped by my apartment building every morning at 8 am (after he went to his office to drop his stuff off) to check if my car had stalled and I needed a ride to work. (By that time I'd be in work already, so he checked if my car was gone.) Well, they're manipulative and micromanaging, but I'm usually ungrateful for all the stuff they do for me, so I think we'd have to call it even. >_< Anyways! So that's what I got. sw33t. Krisit came over Saturday night after dinner and we had no idea what to do. I suggested that we watch American Psycho, so we rented the DVD and watched it. "I can't believe she just KEPT his credit card! That's ILLEGAL and IMMORAL!" "That's the ONLY illegal and immoral thing in this movie that bothers you? ^^;;; " "He did NOT just kill someone to Susudio and The Greatest Love of All. I feel scarred for life." "Why the hell is he wearing track shoes?" "Well, if you were gonna run around an apartment building, buck naked and bloody and chasing a prostitute with a chainsaw, wouldn't you wear shoes?" "Depends on the brand." "Ewwww! Must...wash gloves...gloves will never be clean...can never kill in these gloves again..." (Patrick Bateman was about to strangle a coworker from behind in a restaurant bathroom, and the guy takes it as a come-on. Horrified, Bateman goes and starts washing his *gloved hands*, having completely lost the will to kill. XD) Anyways, that was a lot of fun. AP is an interesting movie if you actually pay attention to the POINT it's trying to make (yes, Virginia, it has a point; it's not a horror movie, even if the 'moral of the story' comes at the very end) and don't just get shocked at all the horrific violence. It's got a hefty dose of black humor, too, such as the way that you know that Bateman explaining in detail about the musical careers of Genesis and Huey Lewis and Whitney Houston means he's going to kill someone in the next minute. >D It was also amusing how Christian Bale deliberately acted so fake; the point was that Bateman was totally an empty shell pretending to be a human being, and Bateman himself was constantly acting, in a very self-conscious, forced way. So, that's what I did on my birthday. XD The next day, Krisit and I woke up around 9 am and went out. First we went for breakfast, then we hit a bookstore for about two hours...(eh heh heh..) where I read four translated volumes of Bakuretsu Hunter (I had the original volumes at home, but it was worth a read; amazing! The translators got all the name references right! Zaha Torte== Sacher Torte!) and this gave us a major need to marathon BH. So I bought four books, I think...err...American Psycho (I was curious; Christian Bale had mentioned in the extra interview that certain fans of the book were complaining the movie wasn't violent ENOUGH, and I had to see THIS...) and Fight Club (which I'd read and Krisit hadn't, but since we both liked the movie a lot..) and a book of poems by Octavio Paz and then Paradise Lost. Yes, I'm messed up. I was gonna buy the new Boards of Canada CD, but I was already spending so much money that I restrained myself! Then we went to, um...right, the poster store. The poster store. That den of evil. I went in looking for random stuff, and then we started flipping through the band posters. I grabbed a poster of the cover of the Velvet Underground & Nico's "Andy Warhol" album, and, um, a cure poster from the 'boys don't cry' era. (I still really want the poster of that shirt I used to have with Siouxsie Sioux and Robert Smith. It was SO CUTE.) Then I grabbed a movie poster for the Fritz Lang "Metropolis." It's 1337. I was gonna grab another Hiernonymus Bosch poster, but... Anyways, so Krisit and I were looking at the music posters. I was at one set of posters, and she at the other. " Priya, look! XDDD" " GAHHHHH!!!!! *flip, flip, flip* It's....it's..." " DEPECHE MODE! HAHAHAHA! Priya, you know you want this poster." " N...no! I mustn't! I'm trying to wean myself away from the ghei!" " I'll *buy* this for you. >D~~ You can not escape!" " Damn you!" But she bought them, all right, and when I got home, I discovered that she'd also bought a MORRISSEY poster in addition to the Depeche Mode one. I screamed like a little girl and she arranged the poster so that every time I looked away from the TV, Depeche Mode was there, wearing leather jackets and brandishing sledgehammers. Dude, this is such an early poster; I'm guessing before 1985. @_@ And Morrissey is...Morrissey. >D Leaning on a car, with James Dean posters in the background. They're both in my bedroom now, on my newly christened wall-o-ghei. I've put up a sign that says, "ph33r d4 gh31." Then we watched about six, seven hours of Bakuretsu Hunters. I rediscovered my liking for the series. I need to pick up the volumes I'm missing. The dub. I need to let Krisit tackle the dub, which was actually rather amusing, but NOTHING LIKE THE SUB SCRIPTS. They basically rewrote the script and said whatever they wanted to, such as Carrot discussing with Zaha about how his little brother is ghei, and Gateau is probably bi, if you know what he means, etc etc. I admit, the "SOUUUUUL-SUCKING" stuff was pretty funny, but c'mon! And the Misu sisters were miscast. X_x We also discussed Zaha/Carrot slash. We'd been watching for about five hours, and we were very slap-happy. That's my only excuse. At least we were giggling furiously and not being serious about it. XD Then my mom called thrice to ask me to come to dinner so Krisit had to go and I had to go over there. All in all, it was a fun weekend. >D I talked to my sister last night; she wants me to take a train from Chicago to Ann Arbor right after I land back in the US on the 28th. I protested feebly that I would have luggage and dragging all that on the eL to the bus station might suck, but...well, it's her birthday on the 28th, so I might as well go see her. :D It's nice to have a good relationship with her now. During most of high school and stuff we weren't terribly close; I was in High School and was surly, and she was in Medical School and was superior. So we didn't particularly care for each other. But now, we're almost like friends, and it's nice (although if you read my old blogs I know I biznatch about her. I biznatch about EVERYTHING.) Stephen, Tanzit, Krisit, I know what you want from Japan. The rest of you - where are you? T_T Let me know! Or I'll eat your brains. Come to think of it, Patrick Bateman confessed to trying a little bit of his victims' brains. " YES!! BRAIN-EATING ACTION!" Now Playing: Hayashibara Megumi - Extrication (P.G. Parfumix remix) (y'all need to hear the remixes on this CD. They KICK ASS.) |