Sunday, May 6, 2001 :: 02:27 p.m.
I guess I should have known that the three dog-boys in the Black Gema-Gema Dan are dentists.

I have been HELLA busy this past week. Two exams, a final project, the works. I only have one final left, and that's on Tuesday. So essentially I'm all set for ACen. I *think* I'll have the car, which is even better.

I invited a few of my local / high-school friends to my graduation party, and it turns out the bitchy-kyoudai are coming. Oh well. ;;^^ Smile and nod, smile and nod. The bitchy-kyoudai are these two people - well, I was really only friends with one of them - who are tolerable when apart, but a holy terror when combined. Like bleach and ammonia, you know? So I invited, uh, 'bleach', and she was wrote back, ' I'm there! I'll see if I can get ammonia to come, too!' and I stared at the screen and restrained the impulse to bonk my head against the monitor. I hope to god that they've both improved since high school. I've only seen them a few times a year since then, and I've never been terribly impressed. But I'll hope for the best.

I went to a professor's house for dinner with my class for the last day of the seminar. She had this awesome house. It was one of those places where something neat covered every inch of the walls and all the shelves, and if you visited there again, you'd find new things. She had several antique clocks, a statue of a laughing skeleton on a rearing skeleton horse ( you know, Day of the Dead stuff ), and framed William Blake prints, underground comics, seashells, DVDs, you name it, it was there. Utterly fascinating. She also had this super-genki Samoyed who LOVED people. The " Let me jump on you and lick you and wag my tail because I LOVE YOU! I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!' sort of dog. XD

I'm graduating in a week, and I still don't know what I'm going to do. I'm still on the waiting list for med school, and that's depressing. Well, if I don't get in, I'll re-apply next year, but my grades weren't so great this year. ( Uh, well, I got around an A- or B+ average for this year, if I had to guess. Yes, that's bad if you want to get into a med school.) So I've been thinking a lot recently, trying to figure out what I'm going to do with my life. I guess I always figured things would work out more smoothly.

I'm going back to the shrink on the 15th. I'm going to ask her to switch meds or something, because as I said, with this, either I'm happy and asleep all the time when I take the pills, or I'm miserable and awake if I skip pills. The fatigue is just too much for me, and I never really realized how *awful* I used to feel until I started skipping my pills to be able to stay awake and concentrate. My shrink essentially tells me, " Take your pills, and stop thinking 'that way.'" Easier said than done. ;;^^

And damn, just when I thought I was immune to cuteness. Every time I open the Basara manga, the owls make me go a big rubbery one. THEY'RE SO CUTE! *___* *sparklesparkle* SHINBASHI IS SO CUTE! I guess the fact that I have pet birds make me think small cute birds are better than small cute animal...things. ( well, what IS Mokona? O_o )

I'm looking forward to ACen. It'll be really busy, really fun, and I'll meet a whole bunch of people. Excellent. Rock on. XD It's strange, I used to be a lot shyer - or something, I guess. Hanging out with people was always fun, but took so much mental energy that I tended to avoid it. But now I actively look forward to it, even if I KNOW there will be complications. That's one good thing I've gained with age, I guess. :D

I hope those of you who are coming to my graduation party ( uh, the invitation's still open to anyone who actually *reads* this and can get to C-U by 2 pm May 14th. ^.- Just email me. ) like Indian food. o.o;

Oh, and Ka-chan, ethnically I am an 'it.' Half Indian, half Danish, the only American citizen in my family. o.o; I always stare at 'race' forms for a while and finally check off 'asian/pacific islander' because I guess that's the closest you can get. I don't LOOK white. I look like - just about anything with brown skin, actually. ;;^^ Got along great in Egypt and Turkey, Malaysia, India...

If we are getting drunk at ACen, it had better be Friday bloody night so that I can participate! O_O I'm surprised that you guys can still talk in JP when totally blasted. Reminds me of that dream where I was wandering around Tokyo, trying to get directions. When I didn't know a JP word, I subbed in the German word for it. ;;;;;;;;^^ It doesn't make sense, I know, but I know German, and I vaguely knew I was supposed to be talking in a 'foreign language', right?

And yes, Xio, Fight Club does make you understand certain things about the appeal of hip-huggers. I personally thought it was a great, intriguing movie that was simultaneously attractive and repelling to watch.

Gregly's car speaks Keigo? O_o

I guess the teriyaki shrimp has been soaking long enough. Time to grill them. :D

Now Playing: Fatboy Slim - Right Here, Right Now ( have you ever seen the video for this? I saw it in Turkey ALL THE DAMN TIME two years ago when I was there. Funny as hell. And Turkish-dubbed Rayearth II is trippy.)



Monday, April 30, 2001 :: 09:03 a.m.
" Hola, BAY-BEE, habla espanol?" " Um...no?"

I don't know if the ever-increasing time lapses between blogs mean that I have a life, or I don't have one. o.o;

Anyways, let's go about this in a non-chronological order. The quote at top was from Saturday; I was walking in an alley, and along comes this guy in a pickup truck...

Yesterday I dropped by the JAC semester blowout just to DDR during the break and hang out with people. I have two exams on Wednesday, so I don't know how wise that was, but it was fun. Neko neko wai wai! My new DDR pads have been shipped, so when they get here, it's time to tape them down and teach them who's the boss around here. XD

Saturday night I watched the Star Wars Trilogy with my sister. At around 8 pm, my sister said, " Ooh! Go rent the entire trilogy! I want to watch them!" Being an obliging sister, I drove down, grabbed the videos, and we watched them after dinner. ( Personally, I crashed at around 2:30 am at the beginning of RotJ, but... )

My sister and her dog arrived Friday evening to join me and my parents for a concert. Ravi Shankar and his daughter Anoushka were going to be performing on the sitar in Krannert. I swear, biological urges are weird. My sister is married, but doesn't have a kid yet. So she and her husband got this dog from the Boxer Rescue, and they love it beyond reason. Baby-talking, non-stop attention, the works. After the absolutely outstanding concert, there was an opportunity to get come CDs autographed. My sister immediately said, " We have to go home, the dog will be lonely."

Puu: (thinking) -_- It's been three hours, not two weeks. The bloody dog can wait another 15 minutes.

She used to be annoyed with how her friends acted about their kids, but man, she does the same thing with her *dog*.

Not that I don't like the dog. It IS incredibly cute and tame. But sometimes, a dog is just a dog. I don't cut things short because " oooh, the birds need my presence!" Then again, my birds are incredibly stupid, and not quite as co-dependent as her dog is, so they can probably amuse themselves for a while. Her dog gets kind of antsy when left alone.

Well, nevermind.

I also went to the Overlooked Film Festival on Thursday and Friday. Roger Ebert, who's from Urbana, drops by and shows a bunch of good films that for one reason or another got an extremely limited screening in the US, and people associated with the films ( actors, directors, producers, etc etc ) show up too. I personally saw 'Such a Long Journey' and 'Panic.' Both good films that I hadn't heard about before. It was also *perfect* this weekend. *_* The weather...

Anyways, I've gotta fix the damn layout for genkiland for may now. :D Ja~n!

Now Playing: Nothing. But I have a lemon shakeup, and I swear, they are SO GOOD.



Monday, April 23, 2001 :: 05:03 p.m.
Grand pianos crash together, when my boy walks down the street

I swear, this goddamn sleepiness is so awful. Looks like I have a choice between feeling rotten, or feeling so sleepy all the time that I'm a zombie no matter how often I nap. Dizamn. Medication always has its downside, it seems.

Well, anyways, I slept through the re-showing of R.D. on CN. Heh. Wonder if there's anyone who hasn't seen it yet.

Now Playing: Nothing. I meant to blog more, but my mind is like a sieve. >_< Gomen ne~



Monday, April 23, 2001 :: 10:11 a.m.
When your desires are taboo among the leather set, you know you’re living on the fringe of society.

No, no, that doesn't apply to me. ;;;^_^ Stop looking at me like that! It came from a page linked off of cruel.com. If you go there, you'll guess which one.

I'm in a pretty good mood. It's such a *nice* day. Nice days make me more able to tolerate the fact that I have no idea what I'm doing after graduation. -_- I hate being waitlisted.

Apart from the vague 'my future is kinda in limbo' heebie-jeebies, I had a good weekend. Spent a large chunk of Saturday with the IL-gumi, which is always fun. I love you guys! *sob* No, seriously, you guys improve my mood 110% when I manage to get out and see you all. I suppose I'd say j00 4LL r 1337, but I'll try to avoid 1337-1uV. XD

I need to get new DDR pads. o.o; My parents this morning said, " You want DDR at your graduation party?" " Yeah, sure..." " Get pads, then." And I realized that it was late April already. Crap. Oh, BTW, who is actually coming to the damn party-type-thing? It's on Monday the 13th, from 1-5 or so. I need to know so we can figure out cooking/sleeping arrangements. Email me, or something, or tap me on the shoulder on AIM.

If I weren't so sleepy, I'd blog more. Sorry, Gregly. -_- Celexa is kicking in with a vengeance. *zzz*

Now Playing: TaQ - Era ( I must get 4th mix from someone. O_O )



Wednesday, April 18, 2001 :: 06:11 p.m.
O_o

A few doujinshi, courtesy of ebay. o.o; I'm scared :D

Now playing: Nothing. I'm going to graduate with distinction. Just found that out this afternoon.



Monday, April 16, 2001 :: 05:14 p.m.
Isn't 'He is Risen' Engrish? o.o;

Well, I took a nap, woke up, and watched part of 'Beck Comes Back.' It's amusing. Doroshii and Rojya are just too cute. My mother wandered by. " Is he going to KISS that metal thing?" " No, he's kind of nervous she's going to kiss him." " Oh."

I spent Easter Weekend working on a paper, playing Diablo II, and studying for a psych quiz. My father's atheist, and my mother's Hindu, so the only part of Easter that they subscribe to is the chocolate bunnies. :D However, on Saturday it was Tamil New Year, so I had to stay home and make festival foods and clean and help my mom do her prayers and whatnot.

My parents are considering taking me to either Bali or Hawaii this May after graduation. Part of me is like, " Fuck YES!" but the rest of me is wincing. I don't feel like I deserve the vacation. I really don't. I feel like I've been fucking up all year, and I haven't earned the right to the vacation. If I actually get into med school off of the two waiting lists I'm on, that's one thing, but as things stand, I am really uncomfortable discussing travel plans with them. And I bet they think I'm not excited about it because I'm being so uninterested about it. Dammit.

Y'know, people really will hump anything. I'm serious. Elbows, the stubs of amputated limbs, inflatable animals, real animals, houseplants...you name it, there's probably someone out there getting their rocks off with it. It seems ridiculous that we've got so much innate sex drive that we've got to get rid of it by any means necessary.

Which brings me back to another thought I had the other day. I was listening to Loveline for my 'medicine in the media' project for my senior seminar, and guys keep calling in complaining that they can't get dates. And the doctor said that it was because, quite often, 20-year-old girls are looking for things in guys that 20-year-old guys just aren't into yet. The girls want someone who's got his shiznat together, has a job, has hobbies, so on and so forth, and the guys are still busy screwing around. Or, if you want my analogy, young female gorillas are looking for young males that have claimed a small territory, and can thump their chest with the best of them. However, most young male gorillas are still busy wrestling and flinging their shit at each other.

Hahahahaha, I'm sorry, but it's a way of thinking of things, right?

Now Playing: Tumble in the Rough - STP



Monday, April 16, 2001 :: 12:12 p.m.
" Roger....daisuki na Roger.."

It's such a lovely day. The temperature has again dipped into the 40's, but the sky is the perfect shade of robin's egg blue that I can't really mind the weather. The sunlight has a different quality than it does in winter, too; it's so clear and bright and fresh that it almost hurts to open my eyes. The flowers are blooming, and the leaves have opened. Somehow I'm always surprised when it's spring again - it's like it suddenly happened, without any transition whatsoever.

Today I had a quiz, and I dozed while the short film on mental retardation played. But I was awake enough to see part of it. I need to cut down on my caffeine intake; I lay awake for most of the night thinking, and then had to get up at 7:30. I need to get ahold of my goddamn shrink so I can get this class-dropping show on the road. -_- But when I call she's always too busy to talk to me for two minutes. -_- All I need is PROOF that I go to her, goddammit!

I'm going to go home and play Diablo II again. I meant this to be more meaningful and stuff - I read a remarkably tolerant and insigntful review of Fight Club on a fundamentalist Christian webpage that reviewed films and TV and movies for Xians...but I'll save that for later. I'm going to hell as it is. :D

Now Playing: WEEP FOR