basic black twenty-five: all of which makes me anxious, at times unbearably so.



emi : juri : leda : htk : ka : mii-chan : krisit : dess : kya : angie : deshi : rnm : xiola : wufie : gregly : rin : matt : becca : tay : tamanyu : steph0rZ : katie : megly : stephen : kai : rence : shannon : may : joy : kristina charmian : leareth : jae : tin : technomancy : meimi : ragabash : gen-chan : sakki : pam : frank : sabina : janaki : myra : amei : ficbitches

priya / 21 / IL
d.o.b: march 9
occupation: josei gamer, ATLUS's uke
sign: pisces/metal rooster/ashwini
alignment: neutral evil
keirsey: INTJ

Big O - Cowboy Bebop - DiGi Charat - Trigun - lain - Boogiepop - Basara - Tenjou Tenge - Hameln - MegaTen games - MPD Psycho

iggy pop :: david bowie :: rolling stones :: orbital :: BT :: depeche mode :: massive attack :: english beat :: velvet underground :: lou reed :: brian eno :: morphine :: placebo :: magnetic fields :: adam ant :: siouxsie :: cure :: t rex :: clash :: beastie boys :: neuroactive :: bauhaus :: depeche mode :: underworld :: air :: juno reactor :: tricky :: nitin sawhney :: big black :: husker du :: nick cave :: white stripes :: tear garden :: the mooney suzuki :: new order :: brand new idol :: cornelius :: gary numan :: kraftwerk :: boards of canada

Retro ti~me! This layout was from August 2001, and the song I was listening to when I made this was the GorillaZ' "Double Bass." Listen to it. Doesn't it make you twitch? And I just realized how illegible this layout was. >_> Oh well, if you serious have problems reading it, email me and I'll fix it, OK?

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Sunday, June 9, 2002, 01:59 p.m.
Fancy da na, oi.

Hey, I need some help. My parents' 30th anniversary is coming up at the very end of this month. Anyone have any ideas on what I should get them/do for them/arrange for them? I told my dad that I hoped he had something interesting planned for the end of this month, and he looked at me blankly before venturing, "Uh...I could get her some perfume?"

I swear, without women, men would be left spanking their monkeys in abandoned warehouses.

[/random in-joke]

Anyways, comments/suggestions would be greatly appreciated. My email addy is in the links list to the left. :D

Janaki has a great entry about why we fangirl (about games/anime/manga/music/anything.) Go read it, yo! Also read Fiona's entry on the same subject. I think they're both perfectly right. :D

I have a Meaningful Post somewhere in my mind that's begging to be posted, but keep in mind that I've spent the past two days staying up until 4:30 or later playing goddamn video games. I need to finish these games before I go back to school, because I won't have the time/energy/money to waste anymore. Damn this maturity shite.

I also have a cold. I'll post after I've slept some.

Now Playing: Oingo Boingo - Dead Man's Party

Thursday, June 6, 2002, 02:07 p.m.
but wait - can't you see that Holzer mane?
What's her name?
Virginia Plain.

Shannon, next time you see me, I want you to slap me. Hard. Or anyone can do that, really. I was sitting peacefully at work this morning when I had a kind of out-of-body experience, and Bad!Puu took over about 5 minutes before my break time.

Bad!Puu: Ku ku ku. *types quickly into the search engine*
borderstores.com: Roxy Music's "Roxy Music" (1972) is in stock.
Bad!Puu: To the PuuMobile!
*20 minutes pass*
Good!Puu: Ugh, where am I...AUGH!! WHAT AM I HOLDING?

I get mugged in dark alleys by glam rock.

Well, I *like* the album. So there. And man, the 70's were funny. If you thought those early 80's pictures of Depeche Mode were funny/terrifying, I gotta show you the booklet insert/sleeve artwork for this album. I was laughing way too hard to do the Eno ga Daisuki no Odori. Thank god both Ferry and Eno have aged and outgrown their love for hair gel and leopard-print jackets. XD

I also bought Ugly Casanova's "Sharpen Your Teeth" which I also like a lot (guess whose oneesan sent her an mp3 last night. *sigh*). Shannon, if you haven't heard this, lemme send you some; UC has members of Modest Mouse, Holopaw, and some other bands.

Note to self: Thursday.

Anyways, since nobody cares about my latest glam-rock gang-bang, I'll instead relate the story of the Rosie magazine that Juri alluded to. Last Friday, at KyaKon, Ka, Erin, Kya, Juri, and I went to Cub Foods to get drinks for the party. While we were in the checkout line, we noticed the cover of Rosie Magazine, which features a slightly terrified-looking Rosie clinging onto the arm of the evilly calculating, squint-eye-smiling Martha Stewart. The four of us stared at it thoughtfully for a minute, and then - who was it who started this? My memory says it's me, but I really can't remember. Anyways, let's pretend it's me for the sake of argument.

Puu: Say, guys. Who do you think is seme in THAT relationship?
Kya: Do they even HAVE seme in yuri?
Puu: Oh, you know what I mean.
*long pause*
Everyone: Martha.
Ka: She's a control freak.
Kya: And she's evil.
Ka: And look, she's got those slanted seme-eyes. Rosie has the big uke-eyes.
Puu: And look, Rosie's clinging to her.
Ka: She's taller.
Kya: And the hair rule applies too.
Everyone: Heh heh heh heh.
Juri: What are you all doing?
Puu: Juri, look at the cover of Rosie. Who's seme and who's uke?
Juri: *pause* Martha's seme. Definitely.
Everyone: XD

So, Juri, was that conversation A Good Thing? ^_~

Anyways, back to work.

o/~ Make me a deal, and make it straight - o/~

*SLAP*

Now Playing: .........Roxy Music - Virginia Plain X_x and Ugly Casanova - Barnacles

Wednesday, June 5, 2002, 01:37 p.m.
o/~ See the little goblin... o/~

Shannon~ I DO want to go to that concert. So when you get tickets, can you snag one for me? :D

I have spent all week reading blurry 7-point font from a badly-smeared fax. I have had a headache like you wouldn't believe. (Yes, I checked that it was 7-point with my pica grid.) I'm tired and my eyes are aching. Expect mayhem in a few minutes.

Now Playing: Blur - There's No Other Way

Tuesday, June 4, 2002, 04:18 p.m.
It may not look as seamless, but I think it's easier to read.

Maybe I'll futz with the layout to fix it later. Consider this a stop-gap measure.

Now Playing: Naoki Maeda - Dynamite Rave

Tuesday, June 4, 2002, 11:04 a.m.
"Do the dance! Do the dance!"

It's hot here. I've come to realize that there are few things in the world that are more wonderful than coming home to a seemingly ice-cold apartment (which is really at around 74F) and collapsing onto a chilled bed to nap for a few hours. Krisit, I'm really sorry that your A/C is broken. >_< I don't suppose that you can get them to fix it soon, can you?

Actually, Ka, it's perfectly fine to say "he rubbed his nape." The nape is, by definition, the back of the neck. Saying "the nape of the neck" is like saying "the wrist of the hand" - not incorrect, but a touch redundant. By using the word "wrist" you imply that you're talking about the arm and hand, because that's the only possible meaning for wrist. Compare that to the "bridge of the nose." You can't say that someone "rubbed their bridge," because bridge has many non-anatomical meanings (although the only anatomical meaning specifically refers to the nose, yes). So, for clarity, you'd have to use "bridge of the nose." That's not true for the word "nape," since it only has one very specific meaning. The back of the hand isn't the nape of the hand.

...uh, yeah, well, that was a pointlessly long explanation. X_x

Argh, I can't find the CNN article I read yesterday. But here's the original Milwaukee Journal-Sentinal article on that EverQuest-obssessed guy who killed himself, prompting a lawsuit from his mother, who accused Sony of marketing an addictive game. Ah~ mou, each time I read these things, I wonder whatever happened to personal accountability. Now, admittedly, I've never played EverCrack myself (oh, for very good reasons! I don't get enough sleep as it is! XD) but I've played games for 8+ hours at a time before. Many times before. >_> (Such as in February, when I logged about 60 hours playing Tsumi in under a week. WHILE working 8-hour workdays. It was insane, I know. >_> The big uke probably can understand what I mean now. XD)

But anyways, my point is this. Either you're an adult, and responsible for your actions, or you're a child, in which case your caretaker is partially responsible for your actions. I consider myself to be a reasonably stable, balanced, independent human being. Therefore if I get to work all groggy from having gamed for 10 hours and only sleeping 4 hours, then I think, "Argh, I was an idiot, I should have stopped earlier," NOT "Damn that addictive game, it made me play it for 10 hours." Because I consider myself to be a mentally stable adult, if I suffer as a result of my hobbies/choice of entertainment, it's MY fault for indulging in them to excess, and it's my job to control myself.

On the other hand, if I can't control myself, or am not responsible for my own actions, then I'd say that I'm in need of caretaking, like a child, and those caretakers should prevent me from doing myself harm. In this case, it'd involve taking away my computer access, gaming systems, checking on me regularly, whatever. And, since I can't take care of myself, I should accept whatever measures they deem necessary to help me. That's how it SHOULD be, at least, in my perfect world of logical blame and responsiblity.

How on earth did he get away with playing 12 hours a day if his mother was so worried about his addiction? Why on EARTH was he living alone if he was such a psychological mess? Schizoid personality disorder and depression?! Living alone with a computer? HELLO?? I don't deny that EverQuest can suck you in, but man, it doesn't create problems that aren't already there. And not taking drastic measures to curb this messed-up young man's EQ habit is like leaving a baby near something small and brightly-colored that it can swallow. I think it's a case of too little, too late - but on the PARENTS' part, not the shrink (whom the parents have blamed too for not seeing the guy often enough) or Sony's.

Then again, maybe putting a label on EQ warning that it might be bad for the looney isn't such a bad idea. Really. I just don't think it's Sony's fault that this guy died. If it wasn't EQ, it'd be something else. EQ was just the thing he happened to choose.

As to whether games are addictive....maaaaaaaaaa. Well, we get pleasure out of gaming. It's fun. It's an escape. That's why we game. To paraphrase Renton from Trainspotting...

"People think it's all about misery and desperation and death and all that shite, which is not to be ignored, but what they forget is the pleasure of it. Otherwise we wouldn't do it. After all, we're not fucking stupid. At least, we're not that fucking stupid."

Anything that is pleasurable can become addictive, I guess - take the case of those rats that, in an experiment, ignored food and water in favor of pressing a button that delivered a pleasurable impulse to their brain. They starved to death, didn't they?

The lawsuit is attempting to draw comparisons between EQ and cigarettes, as in both are addictive substances deliberately marketed to people with their dangers downplayed. I'm not sure what I think about that. I can't say for sure that gaming isn't physiologically or psychologically addictive without proof either way. Part of me wants to say, "Hey, look, I've gamed for 10 hours straight before and I haven't gone insane and I have a regular job," but then again, it's not people like me that do crazy things because of stuff like EverCrack. It's the people who were terribly messed up in the first place.

Maybe they DO become addicted. Or maybe they already have problems with self-control and prioritization due to whatever mental and social problems they have, making them put EQ over everything else in their life, not due to any addictive quality of EQ. It's like, when Berkowitz says his dog is telling him to do things, is it the dog's fault? ^_~

There are a lot of interesting questions around this case, and I don't know where I stand on it. Except that I'm very very sure that his mother could have done more to stop him, and is now passing the buck as fast as possible. >_> I'm sure Ka or someone else will have something more articulate to say, but I really wonder about it.

My neck hurts. I need to start sleeping on the floor soon, preferably when I'm in CO. I either want a nice eiderdown d~une (not sure how they spell it in Danish) or one of those fuzzy blankets of 1337ness that Ka sent Kya in Japan.

Where Are The Brits on the US Pop Charts? "Americans who embraced Beatlemania, progressive rock and the New Romantics have been left cold by Britpop and U.K. Garage." Fu fu fu. More for me, then! >D

Keeping an eye on India and Pakistan with a sort of weary resignation. Either they will or they won't. They've been squabbling over Kashmir for so long now that I can barely summon up new nervousness over the situation that wasn't there before. Then again, all of MY relatives are in the far South, so maybe that's why I'm relatively calm about it.

Oh, I finally remembered what else I was going to say about fanfiction in general (with a specific example - insert the appropriate names of your fandom of choice). Krisit, you're right, those Jedi Apprentice novels are cheap and easy fun, especially if you get yourself back into a 12-year-old mindset and read them. Heck, I enjoy them more than 99.99% of Star Wars fic I've read, especially slashfic. As I was telling Kya last night, I think that's because the JA novels focus on plot and action and story, whereas slashfic focus on the deep, downright pathological need Obi-Wan (or Qui-Gon, depending on the fic) has for love, approval, and wild unFing from his master (or apprentice.) In character vignettes, that's fine, but when you try to throw them into some half-baked plotline where the resolution is that they realize their luuuuuuurve for each other, the story really suffers accordingly, and it becomes boring, especially when you do bizarre things to the characterization in your quest for the penultimate unF. Both Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon become really pathologically twisted in slashfics - lots of weeping, self-flagellation, unreasonable guilt, self-hatred, insecurity, self-esteem issues - to the point where you wonder how they go to the bathroom without seeking validation from each other. Obi-Wan, in particular, really becomes this spineless, self-loathing limpet who starts shunning all his friends in favor of spending every evening with his master, drinking tea and studying. And I read the books, where everyone is NOT psychologically warped, and people deal with their reasonably-sized Issues in normal, natural, non-retarded ways, and I actually like the independent, normal, main characters, and I wonder what on earth happened. Well, then again, slashfic is written with the emphasis being on getting the two to unF or fall madly in lurrrrrrve with each other, so I suppose the focus will be different. But the writing really, really suffers.

It's been a really interesting writing revelation, reading these books. I guess I'd summarize it as think of the plot first, THEN think of how the characters would react to it. The norm in fic seems to be "think how you want the characters to react, then think of a vague situation in which they'd react the way you want them to." Pick the table that fits in the room; don't pick a table and then build the room around it!

Okay, that's all I wanted to say. Really.

Now Playing: Bryan Ferry - Nobody Loves Me

Sunday, June 2, 2002, 02:37 p.m.
Phew.

Retro layout time! June is Retro Layout Month, and if you want to join in, do! :D It's odd, I wanted to put this illegible sucker back up >_< (really, if it's too hard to read, email me and I'll fix it) but I thought, "Oh, it's been too soon! I just had that up! Imagine my surprise when I realized that this layout was from August 2001. Where the fuck did the last year go...

I had lots of fun at KyaKon. Sorry I had to leave last night, but I slept like a ZOMBIE when I got home. Sollyyy ;_; I find that I really like driving late-night, as long as I'm awake. Only saw two cops or so, and the rest was just flooring it and zooming down a near-deserted interstate through the dark fields.

Now Playing: The Kingsbury Manx - Porchlight

Friday, May 31, 2002, 10:01 a.m.
At least when the lounge lizards rule the earth again, I'll be safe from them.

*sigh* Let's just say that I stopped at a CD store this morning. =_= I...I'm proud to be a sap! ;_; Stop laughing at me!

Now Playing: Bryan Ferry - I Thought (I find it a bit suspicious that so many reviewers of this CD are so joygasmic over the Ferry/Eno reunion on this song. Come on, there can't be THAT many people who twitch convulsively at the mention of Brian Eno's name. I mean, who NORMALLY goes, "A reunion of the long-parted Roxy Music bandmembers Bryan Ferry and Brian Eno? OH MY GOD!!!!! *_*" Uh, besides me... ;;^_^ )

Friday, May 31, 2002, 07:10 a.m.
o/~ I thought I'd be your streetcar named desire o/~

Off to KyaKon this afternoon. Don't wait up.

Now Playing: Roxy Music - Virginia Plain