basic black version 21: tick...tick tock...

Saturday, February 2, 2002, 04:51 p.m.

Interesting. And this means...what?

I think I need a nap now. X_x

Now Playing: Supreme Beings of Leisure - Strangelove Addiction (an amazingly catchy song. Download it if you like, uh, Tricky or Bjork or Portishead. I think I'll hunt down one of their albums!)

Friday, February 1, 2002, 12:29 p.m.

That's not funny. I'm trying to cut back.

SCENE: Puu in car, driving back from doctor. She looks tired and cranky. The car clock shows 12:01 pm, time for the 80's lunch hour on the local alt rock station.

PUU: (points at radio) And the Lord spake, and He said, LET THERE BE GHEI!
RADIO: o/~ Straaangelove, strange highs and strange lows, strangelove, that's how my love goes o/~
PUU: (emits a disturbingly maniacal cackle) I HAVE THE POWER!!!!

There's just no hope for me.

Now Playing: Depeche Mode - Strangelove

Friday, February 1, 2002, 09:52 a.m.

Now this is fun

Sick. Sick sick sick. I hate colds. And that's all. Got six hours of sleep last night, spread between two naps - 6-10 pm and 5-7 am. I have some hideous insomnia, but I get enough sleep if I nap like that. I have TRIED sleeping straight through the night, but I've become a really twitchy sleeper. It had better not be my medication. But there's nothing like the personal hell of being wide awake at 4 am, trying to leech some coolness out of your pillows and sheets because you're so feverish. But at least when you do get tired, you fall into this nice black pit of unconsciousness. I woke up with my hair damp with sweat, and had to wash my hair before I went to work.

My mother left for India on Tuesday; she won't be back until the day before my 21st birthday. Basically, as soon as I got my med school acceptances, everyone made their own separate travel plans:

I think he's going somewhere in South America; I forget where. I just remember that it's not Columbia because he said he couldn't bring me back any crack or emeralds. Dang.

Work has been Fun and Interesting. I have learned the great usefulness of CSRs (Customer Service Reps), who keep me from having to deal directly with the moronic client whose book I'm editing. My new CSR has been very nice and helpful - and she thinks that the client is causing so much trouble because they want the book badly, but can't quite afford to publish it. So they're hoping to finesse it out of us for a cheaper price by throwing a fit over everything and being difficult. Bleh.

The sad thing about being a science major with a cold is that you actually think to yourself, "I think my febrile response has passed its peak; the aspirin must have slowed down prostaglandin production. Good." @_@

I have a doctor's appointment in an hour. Rar. >E I hate going to the doctor, which sounds weird coming from me, but I have very few reasons to visit the doctor and usually it can be solved with a five-minute talk and a prescription because I know what's wrong with me. :D "I could have been at work, earning money for new toys..." is my main complaint.

I haven't gamed in a week and a half. I went from something like 6-8 hours of gaming a day to zero; guess who burned out. XD I will finish Innocent Sin! I am in the last dungeon!

*sniffle, cough*

I Am Jack's Aching Sinuses. >_<

Kya has been saying that if she'd gone to the U of I, she'd have attended JAC, and been in awe of the Cool Puu and Krisit and not approached us. I want to know what crack SHE'S smoking. :D I'm the least intimidating person in the world - and I think I unfortunately come across as an inarticulate, frivolous fangirl in writing, such as in this blog - but I apparently have some sort of Aura of Evil that makes people think that I'd be uninterested in talking to the hoi polloi. What is this I Am Not Worthy shite? :D

(Even when I noticed, " Wow, seems like people actually read my blog!" and wanted to feel all cool and shit, I had to admit that a lot of those hits were for people who want interr4cial pr0n. ;;^_^ My dang blog title...maybe I should 1337 it up to reduce the # of those hits, but then it'd still get my archives. *sigh* So much for that. ^_-)

And if you knew what I'm listening to right now, you'd REALLY think I was a dork. Rin, you can probably guess in two tries. *groan* Isn't there some kind of 12-Step Synthpop program? I've admitted that I have a problem, so I'm ready to accept help, right?

I want the day to be over so I can curl up in bed again under a comforter and grab what sleep I can. I wish I were small again, when sleep wasn't such a precious commodity and sleeping 13 hours at a stretch was actually possible. I can only do that if I stay up for 24+ hours.

Now Playing: Bastro - Recidivist (Ah, 'recidivist' is such a fun word, isn't it?)

Monday, January 28, 2002, 08:54 a.m.

More phun with Japanese, courtesy of my doujinshi.

Just when I think I'm bent, I'm reassured that the world is full of equally disturbed individuals. Take the following useful word/phrase, which I found in my Caramel Milk douj:

‰ºŽãy‚°‚±‚‚¶‚å‚¤z(gekokujou)
(n) juniors dominating seniors; retainer supplanting his lord

The three kanji are: ge (below), koku (um...overcome, kindly, skillfully), and jou (above).

What makes this phrase wrong is that I found it in my Persona 2 Suou kyoudai douj. Basically, Innocent Sin-version Tatsuya (’BÆ) is telling his version from Eternal Punishment to, uh, go after his aniki. Who happens to be named Katsuya (ŽÆ)- the 'katsu' kanji is the same one as 'koku' in gekokujou. So 'gekokujou' - 'juniors dominating their seniors' is essentially 'above and below Katsu.'

After I laughed evilly, I began to whimper at what a demented place the world is. >D

Aw, c'mon, I thought it was funny. But as Kya-chan says, I have Specialized Vocabulary.

Now Playing: John Lennon and the...Plastic Ono Nuclear Band? - Whatever Gets You Through The Night

Saturday, January 26, 2002, 12:54 p.m.

Oh, and one more thing:

If I haven't talked to you much recently - and there are at least a couple of people that I can think of, so if you think this applies to you, you're probably right ;;^_^ - I'm sorry I've been so uncommunicative for the past week or two or three. Between work, and the funerals, and all the other usual bullshit life has to offer, I've kind of gone into a bit of hibernation. I've only been out once in the past month to see people. See, it's just that at the end of the day I collapse on my couch and I can't even remember my own name. I'd share my troubles, but I'm just so....emotionally dry now, I'd crunch all over you. Like toast. And crumbs are nasty! So let me rebuild a little of my social and emotional stores again, and then I'll buy you a drink. Or bake you a cake, whatever floats your boat more. And we can hang out and giggle and watch dumb things and I can be a good friend again. Because you all really are important to me, and it's selfish to put myself before you guys, but right now, I'm just so *tired* that I can't even think what to say. My reaction to stress is to shut down and hide out, I'm afraid.

This isn't much of an apology if I've neglected you, but really, I do miss you, even if all we do is talk once in a while. And I want to know what's up with you. Try emailing me. I can do email from work.

I just needed to say that. Back to the regularly scheduled whatnot.

Now Playing: Boogiepop OP - Yuudachi (Evening Rain, isn't it?)

Saturday, January 26, 2002, 12:32 p.m.

Anyone surprised by this, raise their hand? ...I didn't think so.

Take the Persona 2 Personality Quiz

Congratulations, you're Katsuya Suou! On the outside, you're a cool, collected, businesslike servant of justice. On the inside, you're an emotionally-awkward guy with a sweet tooth and a brother complex the size of Sumaru Castle. Family is of the utmost importance to you, and you'll forgo your own happiness for the sake of theirs, even if it is in secret. You're a very caring person, but that doesn't really show that well...sometimes you just don't know what to say, or start nagging instead of just saying "I love you." Loosen that tie and open up a little! And while you're at it, bake me some muffins, I'm starving!

But I'm not NICE enough to be the woogie!

Find out what kind of driver you are!
You are accutely aware of others around you, and will do what it takes to defend your space as well as the road in front of you. You react to drivers who you feel are trying to block you or play with you. You sometimes feel that other drivers must be 'punished'.

Anyone who has driven with me can tell you that THIS IS SO TRUE. 'Bitchmonkey,' anyone?

I am going to do my taxes now, dammit! I got my W-2 forms, and I need my taxes and my parents' taxes done so I can fill out my FAFSA forms. I need $100,000 over the next four years, roughly. So I need to start rattling my tin cup as early as possible. Effing grad school, eh?

And I've been taking notes on what to teach tomorrow.

Despite all appearances to the contrary, I'm not a total moron. All the time. :D

Now Playing: GorillaZ - Latin Simone

Saturday, January 26, 2002, 10:26 a.m.

And remember that it's ALL IN YOUR HEAD o/~

I'm alive. Just barely. If anyone was wondering.

Just didn't have the time or energy to blog. Lots of death for me recently. Two so far this year. I want a weekend without a funeral, wake, or mourning. Really. It isn't much to ask, is it?

“And what, Yudhishthira, is the greatest wonder?”
“Day after day, hour upon hour, men die and their bodies are taken away. The living watch, and yet they do not consider that one day they too shall die. We see death every day and yet we live as if we were immortal. That is the greatest wonder.”

Good answer, Yudhisthira. That was from the Mahabharata, by the way. Yudhishthira, one of the five exiled princes, was asked 100 questions by the Lord of Death and Justice - his father @_@ - and he had to answer all of them correctly to save the lives of his four brothers. He did, of course, because he's the Smart One of that particular sentai team. *laugh* I'm going to be teaching the Mahabharata to my kids for the next several, several weeks. The Mahabharata is the world's LONGEST EPIC POEM IN ANY LANGUAGE, FWIW. 100,000 two-line verses. I'm looking forward to it. XD~ Ho ho ho. XD~ I went to Indraprastha and Kurukshetra when I was seven, I remember.

Joy and Kya , I...I WILL make a Ten-ten page! I really will! I just need to understand a lot more of what's going on X_x which...discussing it with people would help! XD

Bleh. I'm also about 34 hours into Innocent Sin. And here, in a nutshell, is some of the ghei requested:

Tatsuya + Jun: Koibito!?

(Tatsuya and Jun walk out and stand very close, face to face, staring soulfully at each other *laugh*)

T: ...
J: Tatsuya...
T: ...
J: Tatsuya, mou daijoubu sa...(I'm all right now...)
T: ...
J: Tatsuya, nanimo iwanai de...(out loud) boku, kimi ni soba...hanarenai yo. (You don't have to say anything...I'll never leave your side.)

This usually worries the demons. A lot. But female demons think it's just adorable. :D Then you have the other Jun contact that worries me:

Lisa + Jun: Tatsuya o meguru RIVALS? (Rivals over Tatsuya?)

Lisa: Wai! Hey, hey, everyone, your attention please!
Please keep your eyes on his face! *advances on Jun*
Jun: *scared* D...don't, Lisa!
*screen goes black, and then lights up again with Jun in eyeliner and lipstick*
Jun: What did you DO...oh well, can't be helped...geez.
Lisa: *sweatrain* Aiya! So pretty! I lost(?), HOW SHOCKING (shokku)!
Or:
Lisa: Please observe closely! ...just a second...
Jun: *scared* Uwaaa~~ Lisa, what are you DOING?
*lights out, back on*
*same two ending lines from Lisa and Jun*

*sigh* *shakes head* And amazingly enough, Jun is NOT a girly swishy guy in general. He's just cursed with an incredibly female face. And the flowers are, um, special. Yeah. Well, he used to give them to people was planning to kill later, so that counts for something, right?

I have cleaning and work to do. Yep. And, uh...well, real life takes time and energy, it does!

Now Playing: Sneaker Pimps - Bloodsport (because love is just a bloodsport)

name: priya
age: 20
d.o.b: march 9
location: IL
sign: pisces/metal rooster/revati
aura:gold // color:brown
alignment: neutral evil
evil: kinda evil (7.5)
keirsey: INTJ

Big O - Cowboy Bebop - DiGi Charat - Trigun - Petshop of Horrors - Excel Saga - Gokudo-kun - lain - Saiyuki - Basara - Tenjou Tenge - Hameln

iggy pop :: david bowie :: rolling stones :: orbital :: BT :: depeche mode :: ABC :: english beat :: velvet underground :: lou reed :: brian eno :: modest mouse :: morphine :: placebo :: magnetic fields :: adam ant :: siouxsie :: cure :: t rex :: beastie boys :: neuroactive :: bauhaus :: underworld :: air :: juno reactor :: tricky :: nitin sawhney

friends / #-gumi / victims

eminyu : jurinyu : htk linkblog : ka-chan : mii-chan : krisit : dess : kya-chan : angie : deshi : rnm : chi : xiola : wufie : gregly : koukou : matt : yasha : becca : janeru : tay : tamanyu : steph0rZ : katie : megly : stephen : kai : rence : shannon : may : joy : kristina

Other Tasty Blogs

leareth : tin : technomancy : rei : : pocketsound : : taylor : meimi : mara : ragabash : gen-chan : sakki : vituperation : frank : alexa : sabina : amy : janaki : lalaland : myra : amei : diana : jae : sarah : rachael : sinnamon : odd google : ficbitches

Nobutoshi Canna : Andy Lau : John Hargrave : Neil Gaiman : Katakura Kei (DJka) : Minekura Kazuya (mangaka)

contact

peeji ][ archives
email ][ winamp

retreat

cruel.com :: the onion :: seanbaby.com :: BC :: engrish.com :: PoE :: sexylosers :: anime links :: bushblog

[ < gamergirl blogs > ]

mutation

Finally, back to black. If you've been reading my blog at all for the past month or so, you know I've sold my soul to Atlus and their awesome RPG, Persona 2. This layout features Suou Tatsuya, the Deja-Vu Boy of Persona 2.5 and the hero (?) of Persona 2. He's - another one of those surly boys who glare at you if you try to pet them. XD He's holding the mask of Apollo, his persona, and the hands coming up are those of the final boss Nyarlathotep, which is kind of a fucked up situation, if you think about it. Don't know who Nyarly-chan is? Quickly read this or this. Nyarlathotep is the messenger of the Outer Gods, the god who takes a thousand forms. It's just kind of fucked up. Here's some random Japanese Lovecraft fanart. Angst, Tatsuya! Angst! Be glad I didn't use the two other forms of Nyarly-chan in the Persona games that I have scans of. One can be summarized as 'tentacles with faces' and the other as 'man with bondage-gimp limbs.' I love the character designer for the Persona games; he has a really unique and slightly unsettling style. (For giggles, 'Nyarlathotep' becomes 'Nyaruratocheppu' in Japanese.)

As for the title of the blog itself, it comes from the Placebo song "Without You I'm Nothing." Actually, the album version of the song is only so-so. But the UNKLE mix featuring David Bowie kicks my ass. It kicks your ass, too.

Strange infatuation seems to grace the evening tide.
I'll take it by your side.
Such imagination seems to help the feeling slide.
I'll take it by your side.
Instant correlation sucks and breeds a pack of lies.
I'll take it by your side.
Oversaturation curls the skin and tans the hide.
I'll take it by your side.

tick - tick-tock x3
tick - tick - tick - tick - tick - tock

I'm unclean, a libertine
And every time you vent your spleen,
I seem to lose the power of speech,
You're slipping slowly from my reach.
You grow me like an evergreen,
You never see the lonely me at all

I...
Take the plan, spin it sideways.
I...
Fall.

Without you, I'm Nothing.
Without you, I'm nothing.
Without you, I'm nothing.
Take the plan, spin it sideways.
Without you, I'm nothing at all.